To read when times are tough

So after my recent bout of hospital time in the midwifery ward, I began thinking ahead to after the birth of this baby. It's so easy to get bogged down in the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, that we often forget to mentally prepare for those first few difficult weeks with our newborn. Sure, we decorate the nursery, buy all the clothes and prepare meals but mentally preparing is a different thing.

I was scrolling through the "notes" section of my phone the other night, as you do, and I found the following notes. I wrote all of this down when I was pregnant with Nathaniel and had completely forgotten about it. I was doing a lot of work and preparation to try and prepare myself, in the hopes of not getting Post-natal depression again.

Even though this is baby number three for me and I feel much more prepared, I still found comfort in reading through this again. I've deliberately not changed the wording in order to keep it as I originally wrote it, however it could relate to any pregnancy.

Also, this is definitely our final baby so I have been able to appreciate this pregnancy and all the good and bad that comes with it. Hopefully, I can maintain this mental state once the baby is here.

The final photo I took before having Alex at 41 weeks

Ok, here we go...

• Enjoy everything about this pregnancy. It truly is a blessing. Just think how sad you were when you thought you may not get pregnant again. This also might be your last time so focus on the positives and enjoy.

• When the baby arrives, do whatever makes life best. Cuddle as much as you want, you can work on settling techniques later. Sleep whenever possible. The world looks brighter when you are rested. Take any help offered. You can always repay the favour later.

• I know you think the earlier the better to start a routine and to a point this is true. But this baby is going to need to be more flexible as Alexander can't stay home all day. It's not fair to him. So just do whatever keeps the baby happy for the first few months. You can work on a routine when they are a little older. Babies are adaptable and you might have a tough week or two implementing the routine later but at least you should be more well-rested and happy enough to cope with it.

• This baby may be your last so enjoy every miraculous moment. Remember how they started out as a tiny ball of cells and developed into this perfect little human. Take joy and comfort in every smile, giggle, cuddle and goo goo.

• Although it doesn't feel like it, this newborn phase really will fly by and be a distant memory very quickly so try to embrace all the good and when things get tough, remember it's only for a short time.

• When you are soo tired you just want to cry, try to have a cry, take 3 deep breaths and smile. It's totally normal and will pass very soon. This tiny human loves you so much and needs you, their mummy, more than anyone else in the entire world.

• When the house is messy, you feel fat and ugly, sick of nappy changes, vomit and food everywhere. Just remember when this phase is all over and you are able to sleep in, have a tidy house and look great again, you will actually miss this crazy and chaotic time! As it is filled with love and memories of a happy family.

• Try to enjoy every breastfeed. It will be over too soon and a lovely bonding time. It's also a strict time to sit down and rest. Which you will miss when the baby is a crazy active toddler where you never get to sit down!

The final photo I took before having Nate

• If people come to visit and the house is a mess or I look dreadful, nobody will care. They are visiting to see the baby, not judge me.

• DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS. Life is too short to try and tough it out. You want to be happy and need to be able to take the best care of your babies. They deserve the best mum so don't think about the meds, just focus on the happier and better mum you are when on them. You can always come off it later.

• If breastfeeding just doesn't work out this time, top him up with formula. It won't hurt him. Mixed feeding is a great idea so if a little formula keeps them happier, life will be good. If you need to give up breastfeeding, don't worry. You stuck at it with Alexander and he still ended up with asthma and gets sick often. He is still perfect and so will this baby be.

• Put Alex in 2 days of family daycare. That way you can have some special alone bonding time with the new baby (like you did with Alex) and you can also catch up on sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't feel guilty. Alex loves daycare and benefits from being around the other kids. He will also enjoy being home with you more, when he is, as he won't feel so bored. It's better to do that to get special time with the baby than ignore Alexander when he is at home, to get alone time with the baby. You can always take him out if you get to the point where you don't need care anymore. No harm done. But do it for at least 6 months. He will thrive and you will cope better.

• Grocery shop online. Or send mum. Or send Craig. Or go alone. Don't put yourself in that stressful situation until the baby is much older. It's too hard and the small delivery fee is worth the less stress factor!

The other thing I did in anticipation of those first few difficult weeks, was to make a book full of quotes and memes that I had seen that I knew would lift my spirits when I needed to. Here are some examples......

Hopefully, these ideas might help someone, as they helped me, to enjoy my 2nd baby and those difficult newborn months for all the wonder that they are.

Love to you + your tribe

Casey xx