Gender Reveal

So, if you have been following my Insta or Facebook accounts, (if you haven’t, head over now and give me a share/like/follow 😉) you would have seen our gender reveal video.

We are very excited to be welcoming another little boy into the tribe.

We are very excited and cannot wait for our family to be complete. Even though I am going to be completely outnumbered and overrun.

However, I want to admit that I did have two days there where I couldn’t stop crying. I can talk about it now because I have completely come to terms with the fact that I will never have a daughter. But I think those two days were pivotal in reaching this point.

We tried the whole “timing” thing to try to conceive a girl. I drew the line at that. All the research I did on the topic just depressed me and made me realise that some people will go to ridiculous extremes, even endangering the life of a child, to try and get their “ideal” gender choice. When in reality, your chances are 50/50 and you will get what you are lucky enough to be blessed with. I found this quite easy to accept as having lost babies before, I can appreciate how precious any healthy living child is and feel privileged to have three to call my own.

So when the gender was revealed to us via email after our Harmony test, both my hubby and I were very calm and accepting of the fact. We were still just so happy to be pregnant and that things were progressing smoothly.

It was about a week later that I woke up to find myself very teary and upset. I decided I was in mourning. Mourning the loss of an idea, that I would someday have a daughter. This didn’t take anything away from the excitement of having another baby boy coming. However, I needed to accept and feel the emotions I was feeling, recognise what I wouldn’t experience in the future, then move on. So that’s what I did.

I tried to think up the main things that would have been different if the gender had been a girl.

1. I wouldn’t have a daughter to go wedding dress shopping with. Well, actually what’s to say a daughter of mine would get married anyway. Let alone wear a traditional wedding dress! I know families where the only daughter of the family eloped and didn’t wear a wedding dress anyway, so surely that’s not a big concern. Also, I figured out of three boys, I’ve got a good chance that at least one of them will marry a girl who might invite me to go shopping with her? Surely?
   

2. I was once a ballet dancer so of course, everyone assumes that I would want a daughter who would also dance and perhaps follow in my footsteps. In actual fact, it is an all-consuming sport so with 2 older brothers I’m not sure I would have had the time or energy to support a daughter that wanted to dance seriously. I can also go back to ballet teaching again someday if I feel like I am missing out on being involved with the ballet world. Problem solved.
   

3. Wanting to buy this baby a whole new wardrobe. Well, I am not a big spender when it comes to clothes so although a pretty dress here and there would have been nice, she would have mostly been dressed in casual neutral tones that I could recycle from my boys anyway. I also hate pink! I did however decide that since I would have needed to buy new clothes for a baby girl, I would just buy this baby boy some new clothes instead. Just because he is the 3rd boy doesn’t mean he needs to wear the dregs and crappy worn-out clothes of his brothers!

Those were my immediate thoughts so once I thought them through, had a good cry, I realised they were so silly and superficial and nothing to be sad about at all.

So then I started thinking of all the positives.

1. I can recycle whatever clothes and toys I want to and can still buy new things when I feel the need.

2. The three boys will hopefully have a great brotherly bond and have similar interests which will keep them involved with each other throughout their lives.
   

3. We don’t need to move house because as long as 2 boys are happy to share, we can mix it up and change it around as their age dynamics change.
   

4. I’m probably being completely naïve but boys are easier as teenagers, right? Not quite as many hormones raging?
   

5. I NEVER have to deal with periods!
   

6. At any given time, I can demand a “girls night out” 😉

And finally, the love and affection that my 2 boys show me now, will hopefully continue with baby #3. It is the most magical thing I have ever experienced. No matter what the gender, they are our flesh and blood. A mix of both of us and a product of our loving marriage. We are truly grateful that the universe decided to make us parents 3 times over. I am obviously meant to be a boy-mum and I couldn’t be happier. I may just need to remind myself of this every now and then when I am surrounded by willies, cleaning wee off the bathroom floor, constantly bombarded by farts and fart jokes all while trying not to get hit by a nerf gun!

Love to you + your tribe

Casey xxx