Here's hoping

So today is day 24 of my cycle, of our 4th month of trying to conceive. I am 90% sure I am not pregnant however a part of me is still hanging onto that little bit of hope that I may be wrong.

I actually think I could convince myself either way, depending on my mood. I can attribute all sorts of emotions, symptoms and feelings to being pregnant or not, depending on my mindset at any given time!

I am going to take a pregnancy test tomorrow morning and am feeling very anxious. I just know that I am going to be upset when it reads negative. But I also can’t wait any longer to take a test. I have my last appointment tomorrow with my fertility acupuncturist for a few weeks as we are going on holiday. So, I want to test in the morning before I see her so that I can chat it through with her.

She has been my biggest emotional support at the moment as I am trying not to let my hubby see how anxious I am. He hates seeing me so stressed and might suggest we don’t worry about trying anymore and just be satisfied with our 2 boys. But I want to keep going.

I actually tested him the other day and asked what he would think if I was to say I was fed up and wanted to call it quits. Thankfully his response was perfect and just what I wanted to hear. He said that he would understand if that was how I felt, but he would be a little disappointed as he had really come around to the idea of another baby. It was such a relief to hear this as I was worried I had pressured him into it. So with that weight off my shoulders, I am nervously waiting for the morning.....

UPDATE: The next morning.

So I woke up this morning and hooray, I felt nauseous. A weird thing to be excited about I know, but this gave me hope that I may be pregnant. Well......NO. I was obviously just nervous and that’s why I felt nauseous because my pregnancy test came back with a big fat NEGATIVE.

So now I am impatiently waiting for my new cycle to start so I can begin the process again. Grrrrrr why do the months feel so long?? On a positive note, I have a girls weekend planned this weekend so a few wines will surely make me feel better.

So all I have to say to my body right now is this......

Love to you + your tribe

Casey x